Thursday, September 6, 2007

....on feeling good at 6


Let me give you a bit of the history attached with the story, before the story itself. What I feel now is happiness in some way, but it ain't exactly that. I should say I am into emotions, good emotions, so much so as to write about it.

Yesterday, It all started with a knock on my door. It was 6 am then. I had completely forgotten I had to go to a site visit to assist a fellow research assistant. So, I end up sitting next to him in the car in the next 5 minues (i missed on some of the morning essentials though[:P]) & after a while I fall asleep again, trapped in the seat belt.
The next 5 hrs are spent installing cameras, taking readings, photographs, talking to truck drivers & to my fellow researcher. He asks me if I have/had a girlfriend, coz he misses his, who he thinks has now moved on with someone else. The loading bay(our site) left me dirty, tired and just the bit ready for the trip back to the university for classes.

Classes from 12 am to 7 pm(its one of my busiest class schedules this week), with a few intermittent breaks, enough for a snack or two & then the desperate walk/run for the bus. On the bus, as usual, I see faces, a retarded guy talking funny to girls, houses made of wood, the green lake on 52 & the sky still lighted.
By the time, I reach my apartment, all that is on my mind is food. Luckily I had some left from yesterday. When done with eating, I sit on my chair, turn my computer on and ..........
i don't remember what happened next, coz i slept. Sometime in the night I dragged myself to the bed. I drooled(I know that for sure).

At 5 this morning, an hr & a half ago, I woke up, coz I was thirsty like hell.
At 5:05, I check my computer and I see her message: " hey
u thr??
are u thr??
or sleeping??"
It comes to me like a flash of light, I dreamt of her last night. The next half hr. its me, her[actually its just her voice :( ] & the voice lag that keeps interrupting the normal course of talk. She has been doing a lot of work this week, had been busy like hell, was very tired to go to work today & she missed me for all the obvious reasons( I know everyone of them)
Its 5:35, when we are done. I chance to see a few missed calls on my cell, its dad from last night. What a timing.
But I call Mom. She is happy today, not crying like usual on the phone. She talks about family, friends, foes[:P], funny things happening with Dad.....I talk about how busy I was, how I managed to cook something, some culinary tips from her. And I end up saying I miss you & I make her cry before saying bye.(God! I hate myself every time I do this.)
Its 6 and I feel like the most complete person on earth. I make people miss me & I make them cry. I feel super powerful.
And then before I could even think, I knew I was crying. I didn't cry when I was talking to her or to Her. I couldn't cry then coz I know I am not made that way.

So I sit to write down, to let it out, coz I think its too much work for the eyes alone..............................
I feel better now.

Its 6:00 & I remember all I missed doing yesterday, So I better be going.[:)]

GOOD EVENING INDIA !

6 comments:

TimbaRoocha said...

Any comment will be injustice to what you must have felt.

Unknown said...

ohh yeah!!
u bunch of emotional fools[:D][:P]
m too far from both of u, so no dangers[;)]
but seriously...bahut blog likhne lage to tum...aayen!!!
but yeh wala accha tha[:)]
keep writing, koi nahi to hum 2 to padhenge hi [:D]

Manu said...

i m toooo small to comment on ur blog .... the only thing i can say its awesome , n trust me its not just u but even ur words r so powerful that they can make neone miss u n cry too....[:)] take care...

Namrata Singh said...

I wish ... u cud do sumthing tht u don't miss anyone and nobody misses you..!!!

Lokesh Awasthy said...

Even I have started missing you Varun :D :P

Good one.Keep writing.

cheerz
LA

Himadri Mayank said...

miss u.. kya blog likhte ho bhai.. !

bahot blog likhne lage ho lekin..
aayen...! :)
:P:D hahahaha