a couple of days away from life!

i came back to kgp for a couple of days. i had to. the place gives me peace and perhaps thoughts. the last month at home with all the fuss about leaving has been real shit. i realized how lonely i feel at home. & i lack the courage to tell them - "let me breathe. let me be me. "
here @ kgp i take deep breaths.its like coming back to life. i have spent the last two days sleeping with doors and windows opened, at the TSC again and a couple of drinks down my throat to bring back memories.[:)]
i want to come back to this place and may be die here, in the green air. i dont know what is going to become of me. as august comes closer i am uncertain if my next journey starts? even if it does is it really my journey? got a chance to see nammo singh on the webcam. she loks beautiful than ever. she is doing fine, only that she misses me, wants me to meet her before i leave. she fears, may be feels subconsciously, that it might end. needs me to tell her: i am with her. i am not myself these days, how can i be hers.
all my friends are doing good.i am happy for them. i came back to harris too and sat down alone for a while. all i needed was a cup of tea and a friend. i had none. as i go back home i realize how important is love, friends and life once you are here in kgp. and when you go back its just life. i guess i am growing up or may be thinking a bit too much, taking it a bit too seriously. but i like it.
hoping to go through such psycho sessions more often and preferably with a friend[:)]
miss you