Up in the air - a point of view

With a billion miles in his back pack; he has no room left. No room for anything or anyone. Definitely no room for intangible items like love and relationships, especially love and relationships; because they are the heaviest of all. They slow him down; they are messy. And you can't throw them in the bin before checking in for your flight. On the other hand, those photographs he carries with him, the ones he shows to his co-passengers; have other people in them. You can't take a picture of yourself at the bar by yourself. It would not exactly qualify for a memory worth preserving. So you see, his backpack is light but his heart's heavy. His miles mean a lot to him like the points you get by running over people in those ps3 games. And his job is to fire employees for firms who don't have the balls to do it. One messed up guy he is. You can't live like this for long. In the end, its the sky over the clouds; all blue, up in the air.

7 days to a new year, 7 thoughts to a few dear

At 25 or so, or may be a couple of years before and after, when the feeling of age is confusing in terms of Life earned; and by earned I only mean life spent, i.e., days made through and stalled, promises kept and piled up, smiles stitched and spread, memories dusted and picked up again; there is something strange that we all miss.

Imagine missing a "i love you" in a day spent together, or a "thank you" at the elevator door. Small things. Small things add up, just like in maths. I remember when I first started to learn simultaneous equation (SE); I was excited. I could solve two variables. Throw in a few trigonometric functions and I was ecstatic. Until quadratic equations showed up and SE became obvious, got into a habit of being solved; become a passe'.

I get that same feeling, now that the year ends. It started new and fresh, and then days became habits, months became obvious; until 2009 passed by me. I thought about life (just like the last few years, nothing new about it). I got criticized and sympathized all along. I couldn't possibly solve life, but found that there are innumerable ways to make it bearable, livable, enjoyable, dramatic and divine. I learnt that nothing really matters, life's only a chance. Sometimes that one in a billion chance feels like a miracle, the rest of the time it's just the entropy (E) of the world increasing. I also learnt that how you contribute to that ΔE somehow matters. I am sure I did just fine. So in short, I lived well; I guess.

How did you fair at life this year? Is there even a need for self assessment? I'm sure if I ask Dad, he'll say: " Just Keep Going!"

I guess living was never about life and its milestones. It's all about the turns, believe me. You have to slow down. And just before you go hard on the gas again, make up your mind; for the blue skies, the clear lakes and the waving green on the way will pass you by.

To do list

get a haircut
buy a blue shirt, a red tie, a black suit and white socks
clean my place
finish writing the report
learn the new progression: G - D - Am - E
submit photograph for resume book

stop being lazy
stop looking for reasons

just do it.

the ultimate joy

A man is born to deliver, to give to others; all throughout his life. Love to his spouse, care to his siblings and time to his passions. Few men earn enough, to give to the community, the society, the country or may be the world. Somewhere in between, they die.

When does he find the ultimate joy? When he, holds the baby he made, or, drives the new car he bought, or, learns how to play the guitar and then plays it for his soul mate. May be its something simpler. I guess, its the small appreciations he receives for the small nothings he does all the time around people. That's his fuel to keep him running day and night. Until one day he dies.; happy.

You live and learn. At any rate, you live. Douglas Adams

ways to stay human.....

Insanity is like a brush stroke on a canvas. Only, the color is white. Hard to spot, yet almost harmless.
Insanity strikes me when, my plans fail, and I am assured that He has plans for me.

Thank you God.

3 things to let you know..........

It had to be now. So, in no specific order of chronology, impression or reason; I have a few thought balls bouncing in my mind.

1. In an ideal world, If I do what I've always done, I should get what I've always gotten. Even in the real world, I find perfect explanation for all my actions. Only, some are not rational enough, while the rest don't matter.
# I had to make 3 trips to the BMV (Bureau of Motor Vehicles) today, to get my driving license. I missed a document each time and was sent back with a smile (note: BMV has all female employees). When finally they took my photograph for the DL, I looked like crap. Now, whenver a bar bouncer, a cop or an aquaintance looks at my ID, I have an explanation.

2. Sometime back, I asked someone, "So, why do you pray everyday? What do you have to do to make Him consider your request?" I got a brilliant answer: " He does listen to me each time I pray. But, most of the times his answer is - No. I flatter him all the time, telling him how great he is. I thank him, to please him just enough to get a Yes."
# Last Friday evening, I cleaned my place, took a shower, lit a fragarence candle, switched off all lights and sat down to pray. But soon my mind wandered; to sex.

3. Being the joker is a tough job. You make 'em laugh all the time, and yet not expect anything from anyone, not even a smile. Its like sainthood. It'll take me a while, but I think I can get there, be Godlike. :P
See i just failed. Starting over again............
# The joker in Dark Knight says that he is not a schemer, he just does things. Yet, he kills 10 cops, brings down a helicopter, gives Batman the wrong address for Rachel and turns Harvey into Two-face.

perfect days

These are my perfect days of despair. I will never forget them just like the others from past. I bet I am not the only one thinking about it. But I sure am the one enjoying it the most.

It's a dream come true.